How Corporate America Almost Killed Me, and Forced me to Have Better Boundaries
Here’s something I don’t talk about very often: how Corporate America almost killed me. Twice. And no, I’m not being dramatic—well, maybe just a little—but this is real. The sad thing? I totally realize now that I let it happen because I didn’t have the best boundaries. But let’s be honest: boundaries aren’t exactly encouraged in corporate culture. If you’ve been there in any sort of management capacity, you know what I’m talking about. You’re rewarded for how well you fit into the company culture, how much you produce, how available you are, and most importantly, how much money you make (or save) for the company.
So, what did I do? I produced a lot, and I made sure I was loved. Where did that get me? Well, extremely successful on paper. I wouldn’t have stuck with it for 16 years if I hadn’t seen some fruits of my labor. But, it also landed me in the ICU (the first time) and anxious to the point that I couldn’t sleep a full night with a side of constant irritability (the second time).
Let’s start with 2016. Picture this: 31 years old, living that “boss babe” life (ugh, I hate that term now), and ignoring every single warning sign my body was giving me. I needed an extreme myomectomy—a surgery I had put off for way too long. Why? Because work was always more important. Traveling less? Not an option. Taking care of myself? Who had time for that? Long story short, I ended up bleeding out and in the ICU. Yup, I’m talking multiple iron infusions just to prepare for the surgery, sitting in a cancer center, hooked up to an IV, and still typing away on my laptop like a lunatic. I’m sure the actual cancer patients thought I was deranged. My doctor eventually put her foot down, and after a complicated surgery and several days in the ICU, I was lucky to come out of it with my uterus intact. But let me tell you—10 out of 10 do NOT recommend doing it this way.
And the kicker? When I finally returned to work after eight weeks on FMLA, the situation was worse than when I left. So, I quit. That was my first wake-up call.
Fast forward to 2023. By this point, I was working at a behavioral health company (oh, the irony), and guess what? They didn’t give a damn about their employees’ mental health. When I started, there were red flags, sure. But, I naively thought I could fix it. Spoiler alert: I couldn’t. As the company tried to squeeze every penny out of patient care, COVID hit, and for the first time in my life, I was diagnosed with anxiety. Turns out, it was completely situational—a direct result of the toxic work environment.
After two years of my mom, my husband, and my doctor begging me to quit, I finally did. No dramatic exit, just a two-week notice and a “peace out.” They were more mad than anything, but I didn’t care. That’s what happens when you work for people who don’t value employees as human beings. Shocker, once I quit, the anxiety miraculously cleared up. Sigh.
So, why am I sharing all this? Because I want you to learn from my mistakes. Don’t be like me. I’ve learned the hard way that no job is worth your health or your sanity. I’ll always work hard and do my best to serve others, but never again at my own expense. If I’m dead, I can’t help anyone.
Boundaries are a beautiful thing, but let’s be real: it’s hard to be the only person on a team who has them. That’s why it’s so important to interview companies as much as they interview you. Figure out what you stand for, what you need, and what you want out of work. And don’t settle for less.
Here’s what I know now:
Work with good people who genuinely care about you as a person.
Find a manager who has their own boundaries (this is a game changer).
Figure out your boundaries and stick to them—no exceptions.
Never let a company “borrow” your personal cell phone. Trust me, that $75 reimbursement isn’t worth being on a leash 24/7.
It’s okay to say no. And remember: work is never, has never been, and will never be everything.
To Corporate America, I’ve got two words for you: Be Better.